"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.""
You know when you're excited and anxious for a new year to begin, and you start making plans to change old habits or make new ones, and you set up expectations for yourself that really aren't very realistic or fair? You promise yourself you'll lose 50 pounds by exercising 3 hours every day and eat every organic, paleo, raw food you can think of. Or you'll give more money to more charities and every single homeless person you come across. Or you'll spend more time with all sorts of people who you know are important in your life and who you need to be investing in. Or you'll finally sit down and work on all the Pinterest projects that you began at some point and never quite got around to finishing. Whatever the New Year's resolution is, we all know the commitment and excitement to the task fades too quickly. In all fairness, there are some who can genuinely stick to whatever they've set out to do, but most of the time, we end up failing ourselves.
Why do I bring all this up? Because, even though it's not the beginning of a new year, I set out to make some changes in my life and have already failed. Not even 3 days in and I've already blown it. Blah. But this time, it's ok. I'm using this blog to help myself. My life needs change and overall health: physical, mental, emotional, relational, spiritual. I need and want to be real, honest, vulnerable, uninhibited. I know that the only way things can really change is with God pulling me through. Only by His strength can change AND healing take place. I know I'm going to mess up again (and again.....), but I also know that God's mercies are new every morning and I have no reason to berate or belittle myself for not following through on something or for not looking a certain way or whatever other unfairness I'm trying to pull over my head.
Change is change, even if it's the smallest thing. I look forward to and embrace the ride. It is time. I am ready.